This topic may differ based on the culture differences but we all agree on the importance of its proper definition and frame.
in the WLB Book, a chapter is dedicated on the different types of Relationships and Engagements.. But in this post, I’m going to focus on only one sub-topic which is the “Partnership” and more precisely 3 aspects of it only:
Partnerships in Business
Let’s take for example that you were to be a partner in a company or a venture, The 3 elements would look like this:
- D: you have Power over the overall Decisions based on how much influential you hold legally in that company, (If you hold the Majority of Shares, then you have, LEGALLY, power of all its decisions… if not, your Power become less and less influential, not LESS Important… Just Less influential when things go wrong.)
- B: at the end of the Year / Quarter /… (depending on how the company’s financial plans go) you get Benefits (profits / etc…) also by how much you have shares in the company. So you guessed it, the more shares you hold, the more your share of the profits is.
- L: Partnerships in the Corporate Business is always tight to a simple concept, you cannot win if you are un-liable when you Lose. which means in simple terms, if you’re not liable when the company is losing or in difficult times (even if it’s strictly your own money) then chances are slim of you ripping benefits from the company as a partner (Legally Speaking)
Partnerships in Life
Although partnerships in Life can follow the same rules, only the rules of engagement are different, you see most Life Partnerships “JUST HAPPEN” and it’s most probably NOT Tight to Formal Agreements but more based on “Understandings”.
And depending on the level of the relationship (Casual dating all the way to engagement and marriage), this “Partnership” evolves progressively from simple things to more complex “You-Can-Bet-Your-Life-on” decisions.
But during our research about this topic, we found out, that (Despite the Movies you might have seen and the stories you heard) most couples have difficulties defining the 3 elements of relationships.
Now I’m sure that when you reach to this part of the Article, you will start putting the hat of FURY… So Hold you breath and read through the end of this post .
- It doesn’t matter who’s the “Boss” in the relationship, there always should be a Decision-Maker or a Higher Authority in the relationship; 6 out of 9 women we interviewed disagreed and said that it depends on the topic and that some decisions can be solely by either the man or the woman; On the other hand 8 of 9 men agreed as long as the MAN is the Boss in the relationship… (Yes Men will always be Men )
But Unlike in the business world where Partnerships are built to drive & grow a company (or mission / purpose…) and where the benefits are directed towards the shareholders / partners Personally & Individually. Life Partnerships are always built for the same purpose but without the perception of the individual gain.
Having said the above, The concept of Benefit & Liability is more likely to be TAKEN for granted between couples because there’s no Guide / Manual / Cheat-Sheet for what are these in a relationship!!
So Couples are more over-whelmed by the PERCEPTION of what they are getting from the B & L rather than the actual Value and they would be more concerned by “Who’s the Boss”.
Just to Close on this point, You Always NEED A BOSS in a relationship, and the answer to the ones that think that there should be a SITUATIONAL BOSS is as simple as this… A BOSS or a Higher Authority in any entity, does not require him/her to CONSTENTLY interfering in the details and giving orders left & right, in fact the Middle-Manager can have more value in taking decisions… But when things go WRONG… it always has to end up with the person who has the most … L.iability
The “Right” Ratio
Decisions, Benefits & Liability are all tight and dictated by the Percentages (%) partners hold.
(PS: a Partner can also NOT be an actual Employee in the Company, so even a Major Shareholder in a Company might not be the actual CEO)
The explanation in the Business World is more of obvious… so I’ll focus on the Life Partnerships for now
So let’s say that in real-life, a couple decided on the below percentages / partnerships (10%-90%)
So the decision maker is the MAN (in this example), and is ripping most of the benefits (Prioritizing the relationship based on his dreams, career, etc…) and taking the decisions accordingly.
The Problem goes in the Following… When things go wrong in the Relationship… Most MEN Get the Liability part as being calculated differently (and selfishly too), so it has to be Split equally if he was the responsible or blamed more on his partner if it was actually her fault.
mmmmmmmmm….. That’s Sad but it’s True, and depending on how strong the personality of the partner, she can either suffer in silence, FIGHT BACK (Oh Yeah, Women are good in that ), or Try to re-negotiate their “understanding” which sometimes lead to un-happy endings.
Now how we found the answer to that (for those who actually reach this part of the article and still are curious enough ).
Life Partnership, has to follow ALL the aspects of the Business Partnership
So in the end, despite what you have implicitly agreed on, always remember the 3 elements of partnerships and Honor all 3 accordingly, and trust me you’ll find Love everywhere you go in your relationship… Because then you’ll be living the way you want and giving away voluntarily what you have when you want and for whatever long you decide to.
And remember, Love was made for You & Your Partner .